I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
