Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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