Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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