why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
