I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
