dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm both gender and math confused
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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