We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
