dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
