i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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