I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
