I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
