I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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