fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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