did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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