I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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