Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
