I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
