I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i now understand why vodka
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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