OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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