3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
