party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
