I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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