A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.