Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
