he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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