It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Mom said you looked used
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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