Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
