I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
