And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
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I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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