Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
