Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
