I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
