I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
