Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
