I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Rumble strips road head = magical
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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