i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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