I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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