Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
