you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
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i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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