i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
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Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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