I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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