the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
