Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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