you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
