that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
