so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
