Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
