Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
