My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
