yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar