dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.