Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.