Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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