Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
