I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
