So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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