He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
