But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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